Marcel Zidani - Lord of the Pianoforte - Keymaster of Keys                                  Date 01.04.2025

Today marks a truly historic moment in the world of piano education. I am unveiling my latest research—a discovery so profound it has earned me the prestigious Noble Baron Award. From this day forward, I shall carry the title of Marcel Baron von Legato Zidani with great pride.

Here at my online piano school, you will learn everything you need know to begin learning the piano. You can learn how to become a concert pianist and we offer exclusive lessons on just that.

Choose Your Package

You can choose from out premium 'concert pianist' package or our 'just average' package at a much more sensible price. If you choose our 'just average' package we will get you up and running away!

Lesson One: Perfecting Your Seating Position

In the first lesson I like to explain the seating position, usually on a stool, or a chair. Preferably a chair with arms so that when your arms are getting tired from all that practice you can rest them on the chair and carry on wiggling your fingers.

Reading Music: A Foolproof Method

When reading music, I recommend writing in the letters directly over the notes, this will mean that you always know which buttons to press. Observe the above example. If you are still having trouble, just get a black pen and write the names of the notes from the diagram above, straight on to the keys.

The Magic of Pedals

Take note of the two pedals, the one on the left is the quiet pedal and the other one is called the loud pedal. Give them a try whilst playing your pieces and you will be able to hear the difference in noise production.

 Right, let’s get started - this is middle C although it’s not really in the middle.

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Middle C: The Big Secret

People make a big hoo-ha about middle C being in the middle but actually, it’s not! as my picture proves.  Its slightly left of centre! You don't get taught this stuff at music college!

On my piano it's 55cm from the left-hand side and that’s probably the best way to find it. (This is the point where in my piano course I like to remind you that refunds and charge backs I find very disheartening especially, after all the valuable information you have already received.

Awkward Thumb Test

Now put your right-hand thumb on middle C and you left hand thumb on C. Yes, enjoy how awkward it feels at having both thumbs on C especially as an adult with big thumbs however, you can alternate the thumbs and this should feel better. If it doesn't feel awkward you aren't doing it right and so I suggest trying harder. Once you get the awkward feel of the keyboard you can then move on to the next lesson.

‘well, you’re just average’

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Tailored Encouragement

You will find that if you've chosen the expensive concert pianist package you won’t get left behind and will receive the encouragement you need and I promise to tell you that you have improved. Those on the just average package I will of course tell you, well, that you are just average.

$1000 per chord

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Chords Made Simple (and Affordable!)

There’s a course out there charging $3,000 for 4 chords—that’s $1,000 per chord! With my course, you’ll be a concert pianist after just three chords, working out to $900 per chord. And if you choose the Concert Pianist Package, we’ll throw in the fourth chord for free.

We also offer a simplified fee structure for other chords:

• Major and minor chords: £20 each
• Sevenths: £25
• Ninths: on a need-to-know basis (Like why do you even need to know?)
• Tenths: You won’t reach them anyway.
• Anything beyond a tenth: Dangerous!

Special chords:

• German 6ths and Neapolitan 6ths: Available on request.
• Churchill 6ths: Mandatory.
• French 6ths: Banned.

Any chords involving black keys or more than two sharps/flats require submission to our in-house team for further investigation.

Learn Properly with the Hey Presto! Method

Those serious about learning piano should invest in my Hey Presto! Piano Method book, hailed as the most important method book in piano history. Sign up today and get the book for free!

The Hey Presto! book introduces the loud pedal from the very beginning. Not only does it enhance your playing, but it also cleverly masks mistakes—typically of those on the Just average package. Losing your place? Technique not up to scratch? Slam down the loud pedal, and voilà—it’s like magic!

Sign Up Today

If you’re ready to learn piano in just days (not weeks), it really is that easy. Sign up here and let me show you all the tricks of the trade!

Disclaimer

References to the timeframe for becoming a 'concert pianist' are inherently indefinite and subject to individual interpretation. The term 'days' may refer to any duration, including but not limited to 100 days or 100,000,000 days, depending on factors such as personal aptitude and the definition of 'concert pianist.' By enrolling in this program, participants acknowledge the subjective nature of these terms and waive any right to pursue legal claims or actions. Please note, we retain qualified legal representation.

Other Blogs by Marcel Zidani Lord of the Pianoforte and Keymaster of Keys

Marcel Zidani Honoured by Baron Von Legato Award

This one key on the piano is the secret to playing beautifully! Find out which one it is!

How to become a gas safety engineer in 3 quick steps!

Your 2 chords away from being a concert pianist

Lesson 2 – La Campanella! By F. List

The Fourth Chord! – Where is it?

Will This Blog Post Link Lead to the same place as all the other blog post links?! Click to find out!

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